Further along on the housesitting front and the bug infestation has become a bit more manageable. However, in my predictable fashion, once one problem is solved, my mind immediately creates a new problem to obsess over. Therefore, I have now become completely convinced that someone is going to break in. Somewhere between the hours of midnight and dawn, to be exact. So I spend all night watching cable TV with the volume extremely low, and being overly concerned by any tiny noises I will inevitably hear throughout the night.
The house is located at the end of a dead end street, and the only other house on the block is vacant right now, of course, so it's not an option to go banging on their door in the middle of the night, begging for help. Also the house I am in is an older home and situated right next to a centuries-old graveyard, so I really have to give myself a modicum of credit for not being afraid of ghosts. In fact I currently believe that ghosts would be the only entities on my side in this self-styled ordeal. (A side note: I have noticed that all of the people I have met who claim to have seen a ghost at some point or other in their lives, always have very similar personality traits. I'm starting to wonder if this is coincidence.)
In the event I am on the second floor when the burglar arrives, I have planned a more generic escape out the back bedroom window and out onto the roof, where I will then hang-drop to safety. A second option: Chemical Warfare. I have placed a spray bottle of Raid in one of the bedroom closets. Once I hear the tell-tale sounds of breaking and entering, I will stealthily make my way to said closet and close the door behind me. I will then arm myself with the Raid, and stand ready to attack. Once the door is opened I will immediately unleash a toxic stream squarely in the direction of the thug's eyes. This will give me ample time to barrel past him and down the steps to safety as he is still wondering what the heck hit him. The third option: Monster Mask. I keep the above-pictured monster mask next to the bed in the room where I am sleeping (well, trying to sleep), and if there is absolutely no time for me to escape before I am about to be face-to-face with the stranger, then I will simply don the mask and confront him head on. I believe the shock of being met by a ghoul in the dark will catch him completely off-guard and make him understand that now he is on my playing field - the playing field of the demented - and he is no match for that. The sad part is, my brother-in-law told me that if I startled an intruder in that manner, then I'd probably just get shot. Ah welly.